By Gary Roen
Television has been called a vast wasteland but now more than ever it is proven over and over again why it’s true.
A while ago I used to watch network TV. Today I view a small amount of shows that are from the networks. Also I tune into cable stations for little amounts of programming. I do watch news channels like CNN, Fox, or MSNBC but even there, I am tuning in less than I used to. There are many reasons.
Deregulation of the industry is one of the reasons but it is not the major one. Still it is high on the list because what was controlled was changed in the 1980’s. A certain number of commercials were regulated in any one segment of a show. When the restrictions were taken off, the advertisers could run lots more ads in any portion of a show. I’ve noticed that so many of the commercials are hard to follow, sing too much, are too loud and are just plain offensive. There are too many useless ones and they take away from the enjoyment of a show. Even with DVR it is not enough because there are too many ads to rip through and sometimes you go too far into an episode and have to backtrack.
I used to follow a show every week and make time to watch. A new mindset came in with corporate executives who are constantly changing the day and time one is on, they take it off for a while then bring it back later in the year or they have one proceeding nicely that is gaining ratings until they put a couple of re-runs on and they replay the same one two to three times in one week. I, the viewer, tune in and find episodes I’ve seen before and decide to observe something else, then stop watching the original show all together. So the head honchos in their wisdom conclude no one is viewing their shows. This was the case with “Detroit 187,” “Brothers and Sisters,” “Blue Bloods,” and the new “Hawaii Five O.” The last two are coming back next season but one thing is clear I will not tune in for any of them. I’m done trying to find them.
Another aspect is that programming is beamed to people who are 14 to 29 years old. Just like the movies in the theatres. One of the best shows to make a statement throughout its run was “Boston Legal.” In so many episodes it made fun of the logic of the major networks’ programming. A show like “Harry’s Law,” is questionable whether it will be back next year. It has a growing audience but not the age NBC wants. I have to laugh with the show “Jag” that premiered on NBC but was canceled after one season. CBS picked it up to run for another 9 seasons. Sometimes shows do make it but most of the time they don’t.
That is only part of the equation. The other thing that drives me up the wall is that you have a show and are really into it until there are logos or crawlers for other shows that fade in and out throughout the episode. Also they do not ever let you see the credits of one because they are too busy promoting something else. On segments of news, anchors tease audiences about a story throughout the broadcast and very often they reveal it at the tail end of the newscast or they never get to it at all. This is done too frequently just to keep viewers tuned. You can see what you want but you really have to put up with a lot to enjoy it, if you stay with cable and the networks.
Television in the 1950’s, 1960’s, and 1970’ was so much better because you had certain standards that were to be followed. Some of them were kind of rigid but viewers did get lots of wholesome shows that were fun to watch and not too many commercials and no graphics on the screen that do not belong.
Now if I want to see something I wait until the DVD or Blue Ray edition is out and watch in total freedom to enjoy whenever and whatever I want. I have seen many boxed sets this way. Among them are “Brothers and Sisters,” “Cheers,” and “Star Trek.”
It’d be great if more things were released directly to DVD and Blue Ray instead of going to cable and network stations.
Take care and I hope you find a way to enjoy what you watch.
Friday, March 2, 2012
Not Much to Do?
By Gary Roen
A few weeks ago I talked to several people. I was surprised when all of them said “There is nothing to do around here.” I gathered they meant that there was nothing to do around the Central Florida area. I find that statement to be so untrue. I know that there are art shows in the next few months that are great fun to go to. To begin with there is the Winter Park Art Festival in March. You also have ones in Mt Dora, Cocoa, and New Smyrna Beach that are great to see all kinds of artwork and strange things...
We have in March Bike Week while The Daytona Speedway has several races in the next few months as well. If you like basketball there are the games of the Orlando Magic and this month the NBA All Star Weekend is here in Orlando. In a month or so there will be baseball spring training all through the state and there are other sport events at Rollins College, UCF, Valencia and Stetson .
The Bob Carr Center has many stage plays and the Orlando Ballet performances. At the Amway Center when the Magic are not playing there are major shows like Elton John or Lady Gaga to name a few. And there is the UCF arena that has brought to the area many exciting shows as well.
For nightlife there are clubs all through downtown Orlando, or there is the night life of Disney or Universal Studios.
For book readers there are many events across the area starting with Fresh Book Festival in Daytona Beach in January. Later the Villages has its own author festival. In April UCF has the UCF Book Festival, and in May there is Oasis, the science fiction convention.
One of the best events that combines media, comics, and writer guests is the convention Megacon in either February or March that is a giant fun fest for three days. This year’s con at the Orange County Convention Center starting on Friday February 17th and running until Sunday the 19th promises to be a wonderful experience for all. Some of the guests slated to appear are Stan Lee, the creator of Marvel comics, Tony Bedard, who has worked on Green Lantern, and lots of other comic artists. For others the draw are the media guests like Tim Russ Star Trek Voyager (Tuvok), Brent Spiner Star Trek The Next Generation, (Data), Bruce Boxleitner, Babylon 5 (Capt. John Sheridan) (Tron) Alan, David Anders Vampire Diaries (John Gilbert), Alias (Julian)..
Throughout the weekend there are talks by many of the guests about some of the shows they have been a part of, the making of shows or movies, where the industry is and where it’s going: For writers the subjects are the craft of writing or can science fiction contain religion?, and there are row after row of artists who have many pieces of art to display. Authors can autograph their works while the actors will sign and talk to their many fans. Also there are so many tables with dealers who sell copies of old tv shows, movies, old magazines and comics, or lots of other related things.
I still say there is so much to do here that all you have to do is look around. Megacon is a great fun family event that has gotten bigger and better through the years. If you’re a Science Fiction or comic buff, this is the place to be. For or an aspiring professional this is the place to network, network, and network. Come have fun and be like a kid in a candy store with all these magical things all around you. For more information on prices, TV stars, artists and authors check out the cons website at www.megaconvention.com.
A few weeks ago I talked to several people. I was surprised when all of them said “There is nothing to do around here.” I gathered they meant that there was nothing to do around the Central Florida area. I find that statement to be so untrue. I know that there are art shows in the next few months that are great fun to go to. To begin with there is the Winter Park Art Festival in March. You also have ones in Mt Dora, Cocoa, and New Smyrna Beach that are great to see all kinds of artwork and strange things...
We have in March Bike Week while The Daytona Speedway has several races in the next few months as well. If you like basketball there are the games of the Orlando Magic and this month the NBA All Star Weekend is here in Orlando. In a month or so there will be baseball spring training all through the state and there are other sport events at Rollins College, UCF, Valencia and Stetson .
The Bob Carr Center has many stage plays and the Orlando Ballet performances. At the Amway Center when the Magic are not playing there are major shows like Elton John or Lady Gaga to name a few. And there is the UCF arena that has brought to the area many exciting shows as well.
For nightlife there are clubs all through downtown Orlando, or there is the night life of Disney or Universal Studios.
For book readers there are many events across the area starting with Fresh Book Festival in Daytona Beach in January. Later the Villages has its own author festival. In April UCF has the UCF Book Festival, and in May there is Oasis, the science fiction convention.
One of the best events that combines media, comics, and writer guests is the convention Megacon in either February or March that is a giant fun fest for three days. This year’s con at the Orange County Convention Center starting on Friday February 17th and running until Sunday the 19th promises to be a wonderful experience for all. Some of the guests slated to appear are Stan Lee, the creator of Marvel comics, Tony Bedard, who has worked on Green Lantern, and lots of other comic artists. For others the draw are the media guests like Tim Russ Star Trek Voyager (Tuvok), Brent Spiner Star Trek The Next Generation, (Data), Bruce Boxleitner, Babylon 5 (Capt. John Sheridan) (Tron) Alan, David Anders Vampire Diaries (John Gilbert), Alias (Julian)..
Throughout the weekend there are talks by many of the guests about some of the shows they have been a part of, the making of shows or movies, where the industry is and where it’s going: For writers the subjects are the craft of writing or can science fiction contain religion?, and there are row after row of artists who have many pieces of art to display. Authors can autograph their works while the actors will sign and talk to their many fans. Also there are so many tables with dealers who sell copies of old tv shows, movies, old magazines and comics, or lots of other related things.
I still say there is so much to do here that all you have to do is look around. Megacon is a great fun family event that has gotten bigger and better through the years. If you’re a Science Fiction or comic buff, this is the place to be. For or an aspiring professional this is the place to network, network, and network. Come have fun and be like a kid in a candy store with all these magical things all around you. For more information on prices, TV stars, artists and authors check out the cons website at www.megaconvention.com.
Friday, December 16, 2011
Life Without Hitch
It’s about 1 o’clock in the morning on Friday, December 16th and I just heard the news that Christopher Hitchens has passed away. As a tenured fan of his work and character I’m genuinely depressed to hear this news, but I can’t say that it comes as a great shock either. Back in June of 2010, Hitchens announced that he had been diagnosed with esophageal cancer; and given his propensity for treating his body more like a brothel than a temple, the outlook seemed pretty grim. While he endured for another year and a half, it was a steady decline. As perhaps one of the most erudite public speakers in generations, he suffered an especially cruel fate when cancer claimed his voice. I can think of nothing more disheartening than having one of your strongest assets stripped away and being forced to press on without it.
Yet, what impression did “Hitch” leave upon the world? Most notable would be his recent outspoken support of the “New Atheism” movement; but he was also wildly successful as an author, journalist, literary critic, orator, humanitarian, and pundit. His was a wit that knew no bounds. Fan and critic alike loved nothing more than whipping him into a trademark frenzy of haughty, sharply worded retorts, with which he would level even his most intellectual opponents.
Personally, one of my favorite events was the public debate, entitled “Is Religion a Force of Good in the World?” held between Hitch and former British Prime Minister, Tony Blair in November of 2010. As he strode out onto the stage, Hitch debuted his newly hairless head as well as a confidence that surprised even me. It is no small feat to accept an invitation to debate the former leader of your nation of birth, but Hitchens didn’t hesitate for one moment before verbally shutting Blair down. Watching the debate was like watching someone’s mind being read. Every time Blair made an argument in religion’s favor, it would somehow play into the logical ambush that Hitch had laid in the early moments of the debate. By the end, not only had Hitchens clearly won, he had convinced Blair that even if his faith hadn’t been misplaced, his argument certainly was. It was a magnificent public defeat of tired principles and dusty logical fallacies.
While it’s easy to get hung up on the brash, visceral element of his spoken word, Hitchens was even more effective with a pen. During his life he worked as a journalist for many prestigious periodicals such as The Atlantic and The Nation, until becoming a Contributing Editor to Vanity Fair in 1992. He authored 18 books, including his best seller “God is Not Great”, and contributed to dozens more as an editor or co-author.
As a humanitarian atheist, Hitch held that the world did not need a supernatural guardian or man-made dogmas in order to do right by one’s fellow man. It was this fervor for the greater good of understanding that often got in the way of Hitchens’ own professional life. On multiple occasions, he was fired from positions because of his unwillingness to bend to his editors’ agendas, and he often landed in hot water with the media for his typically heavy-handed critique of culture. He was a champion of a logic that knew no creed or party and would often cross political and social borders. This was exemplified in his simultaneous criticisms of George W. Bush’s policies and belief that the Iraq War was our nation’s virtuous duty. He would rail against the right, left or any person or party that, in his eyes, was acting on less than ethical principles. He was also never opposed to endorsing figures that he felt were acting in the greater good. His support of Ralph Nader in the 2000 presidential election showed that he was not above the process of politics, just one of its rarest supporters.
In so many ways, what we have lost in the personality of Christopher Hitchens is more than just the man himself. We have lost an irreverent voice of reason, whose place in society is not likely to be matched again in my lifetime. It was a voice that was unburdened by the pressures of politeness; indeed I would guess that Hitch felt there was very little time for anything but frankness in this modern age. He was as important to literary, political and intellectual society as he was entertaining and I will miss his influence greatly.
by Grant Nielsen
The Fantasy Effect
One of the first things I ever knew about John Lennon was that he had just been shot. I was 10 years old on December 8th 1980, and I heard about it the following morning on the news right before heading out to catch the school bus. I mentioned it to my mom, and I noticed she was visibly taken aback. I got the sense that something very significant happened, and the chatter prior to school with older students and a few grown-ups seemed to confirm this.
I really didn’t know that much about the Beatles prior. I knew they had been an incredibly popular rock band, and I was starting to really like rock music, but honestly, I was more of a Doors fan. Their Greatest Hits album- that red & white one- ruled the roost around my way. The only Beatles album in the house that my parents had was Sgt Peppers, and frankly, I didn’t care much for it. I recall thinking it looked and sounded like a big deal, but it never really said anything, just suggested it. Again, I was 10, a fascinating time to be a Doors literalist.
Within 24 hours of Lennon’s murder, I gleaned a bit more information from the ensuing news coverage. I had figured out that he was the Beatle with the glasses. He was really into Peace, which made his untimely death a little more odd to me. I learned he was married to a Japanese woman and they had a child. I’ve come to realize it is fairly common for an artist’s passing to result in an increased awareness, but this was my first time experiencing this, and it was a biggie.
As fate would have it, John Lennon and his wife, Yoko Ono, had released an album merely weeks before his death entitled Double Fantasy. Rumor has it that the initial reaction was not very positive (one review proclaimed the album “a self-obsessed disaster”), but the events that soon followed provoked a severe reworking of opinion. Indeed, the album wound up going to the top of the charts and winning a Grammy for Album of the Year. Decades later, I’m of the opinion that the murder of John Lennon altered the sound of music in ways wholly unintended.
On Christmas morning of 1980, my mother gave my father a present to unwrap. Of course, based on it’s flat, square shape, it was pretty obvious it was an album. The times being what they were, it was pretty obvious which album. I think this was the first new album brought into the house by either of my parents in at least a decade. I was fascinated by it. The artwork for Double Fantasy was a fairly monochromatic affair, even down to the Geffen label pasted onto the vinyl. Somehow, this lack of color seemed perfect for such a somber winter.
I couldn’t wait to hear this Important Record, but I had to, and adding insult to injury, I couldn’t even be in the same room when it was finally played. My aunt and uncle came by the following night to celebrate the holiday with my parents, my dad and uncle exchanging their traditional gift: identical fifths of scotch. My uncle was a musician, and kept up to date with musical trends (rifling through his collection was soon to be a favored pastime). We had our Xmas tree and presents in the family room so we all hung out there for most of the evening, but as the grown-ups adjourned to the record-player containing living room, I was sent to bed.
Oh hell no. I knew what was about to happen. After my mom put us all to bed and went back downstairs, I crept from my room to the top of the staircase and set up camp.
To this day, whenever I hear that bell at the beginning of John Lennon’s “(Just Like) Starting Over,” I am taken back to that moment. I remember the lighting in the hallway at the top of the stairs. I remember hearing my family members as they were just out of sight. Nowadays, I can recognize the style of the song as an homage of sorts to the rock and roll of his own youth, but it also takes me back to my own and that illicit thrill that can come with hearing such sounds. Furthermore, damn, that dude had the knack for killer middle eights.
As a whole, Double Fantasy was put together as a concept album. The concept being that John Lennon and Yoko Ono happened to be artists that shared a life together. Many of the songs are likewise “partnered.” John’s “I’m Losing You” is followed by Yoko’s “I’m Moving On.” He has a song for his “Beautiful Boy,” she sings to her “Beautiful Boys.” He proclaims his love to his “Woman,” she acknowledges that “Every Man Has a Woman Who Loves Him.”
So, the album begins with one of his finest numbers, and Yoko comes to the plate for the second song with “Kiss Kiss Kiss.”
Holy. Shit.
She coos, she shrieks, she pretty much goes batshit insane. To this day, I still can’t tell if the backing musicians were really into it or just having a laugh playing “freaky ” for the paycheck, but Ono seems unfazed and in her own world, offering us only the glimpses she wants us to see. For a preteen obsessed with the Lizard King, a lady yelling “BROKEN MIRROR WHITE TERROR!” is gold. She ends the song with some “sexy” noises a la Donna Summer, but frankly, it was kinda scary too.
Upstairs, my mind was blown. Downstairs, grownups were howling with laughter. I get it, I mean, she was strange, not for everyone, no doubt about it. That’s the rub -when you get right down to it, we wouldn’t have been listening to her in the first place if John Lennon had still been alive. I imagine similar scenes happened all across suburbia that winter: because of his death, John Lennon “Trojan horsed” his wife’s weird art into hundreds of thousands of homes that wouldn’t have welcomed it otherwise.
It’s not like I became a fan of hers immediately upon hearing her, but it absolutely planted a seed. Lennon may or may not have been misguided in his assessment that she had some kinship with the punk and new wave bands of that era, that can be debated, but I do know she made it into my house first, and I’m pretty sure that’s how it went down for quite a few others as well.
How much of a stretch is it from Yoko Ono to Cyndi Lauper? A hell of a lot shorter than it is from Pat Benatar, I’ll tell you that much. Double Fantasy moved “weird” closer to the center. A band wanting to show an allegiance to the underground is far more likely to cover one of her songs than one by her husband. If they *did* opt for a Lennon-penned number, odds are they’ll go with one written when she was around. Heck, even Ono’s choice in eyewear has proven some longstanding merit if Lady Gaga is to be trusted. Lennon’s influence as a songwriter is undeniable, but Ono’s influential role as a stylist deserves reassessment.
Would John Lennon really have been willing do die to get his wife’s artwork recognized on a larger scale? He probably would have said something along those lines, but that kind of thing never gets put to the test. Except when it does, and that’s when things get weird.
Tommy Salmon
Movement Magazine Athens GA correspondent
I really didn’t know that much about the Beatles prior. I knew they had been an incredibly popular rock band, and I was starting to really like rock music, but honestly, I was more of a Doors fan. Their Greatest Hits album- that red & white one- ruled the roost around my way. The only Beatles album in the house that my parents had was Sgt Peppers, and frankly, I didn’t care much for it. I recall thinking it looked and sounded like a big deal, but it never really said anything, just suggested it. Again, I was 10, a fascinating time to be a Doors literalist.
Within 24 hours of Lennon’s murder, I gleaned a bit more information from the ensuing news coverage. I had figured out that he was the Beatle with the glasses. He was really into Peace, which made his untimely death a little more odd to me. I learned he was married to a Japanese woman and they had a child. I’ve come to realize it is fairly common for an artist’s passing to result in an increased awareness, but this was my first time experiencing this, and it was a biggie.
As fate would have it, John Lennon and his wife, Yoko Ono, had released an album merely weeks before his death entitled Double Fantasy. Rumor has it that the initial reaction was not very positive (one review proclaimed the album “a self-obsessed disaster”), but the events that soon followed provoked a severe reworking of opinion. Indeed, the album wound up going to the top of the charts and winning a Grammy for Album of the Year. Decades later, I’m of the opinion that the murder of John Lennon altered the sound of music in ways wholly unintended.
On Christmas morning of 1980, my mother gave my father a present to unwrap. Of course, based on it’s flat, square shape, it was pretty obvious it was an album. The times being what they were, it was pretty obvious which album. I think this was the first new album brought into the house by either of my parents in at least a decade. I was fascinated by it. The artwork for Double Fantasy was a fairly monochromatic affair, even down to the Geffen label pasted onto the vinyl. Somehow, this lack of color seemed perfect for such a somber winter.
I couldn’t wait to hear this Important Record, but I had to, and adding insult to injury, I couldn’t even be in the same room when it was finally played. My aunt and uncle came by the following night to celebrate the holiday with my parents, my dad and uncle exchanging their traditional gift: identical fifths of scotch. My uncle was a musician, and kept up to date with musical trends (rifling through his collection was soon to be a favored pastime). We had our Xmas tree and presents in the family room so we all hung out there for most of the evening, but as the grown-ups adjourned to the record-player containing living room, I was sent to bed.
Oh hell no. I knew what was about to happen. After my mom put us all to bed and went back downstairs, I crept from my room to the top of the staircase and set up camp.
To this day, whenever I hear that bell at the beginning of John Lennon’s “(Just Like) Starting Over,” I am taken back to that moment. I remember the lighting in the hallway at the top of the stairs. I remember hearing my family members as they were just out of sight. Nowadays, I can recognize the style of the song as an homage of sorts to the rock and roll of his own youth, but it also takes me back to my own and that illicit thrill that can come with hearing such sounds. Furthermore, damn, that dude had the knack for killer middle eights.
As a whole, Double Fantasy was put together as a concept album. The concept being that John Lennon and Yoko Ono happened to be artists that shared a life together. Many of the songs are likewise “partnered.” John’s “I’m Losing You” is followed by Yoko’s “I’m Moving On.” He has a song for his “Beautiful Boy,” she sings to her “Beautiful Boys.” He proclaims his love to his “Woman,” she acknowledges that “Every Man Has a Woman Who Loves Him.”
So, the album begins with one of his finest numbers, and Yoko comes to the plate for the second song with “Kiss Kiss Kiss.”
Holy. Shit.
She coos, she shrieks, she pretty much goes batshit insane. To this day, I still can’t tell if the backing musicians were really into it or just having a laugh playing “freaky ” for the paycheck, but Ono seems unfazed and in her own world, offering us only the glimpses she wants us to see. For a preteen obsessed with the Lizard King, a lady yelling “BROKEN MIRROR WHITE TERROR!” is gold. She ends the song with some “sexy” noises a la Donna Summer, but frankly, it was kinda scary too.
Upstairs, my mind was blown. Downstairs, grownups were howling with laughter. I get it, I mean, she was strange, not for everyone, no doubt about it. That’s the rub -when you get right down to it, we wouldn’t have been listening to her in the first place if John Lennon had still been alive. I imagine similar scenes happened all across suburbia that winter: because of his death, John Lennon “Trojan horsed” his wife’s weird art into hundreds of thousands of homes that wouldn’t have welcomed it otherwise.
It’s not like I became a fan of hers immediately upon hearing her, but it absolutely planted a seed. Lennon may or may not have been misguided in his assessment that she had some kinship with the punk and new wave bands of that era, that can be debated, but I do know she made it into my house first, and I’m pretty sure that’s how it went down for quite a few others as well.
How much of a stretch is it from Yoko Ono to Cyndi Lauper? A hell of a lot shorter than it is from Pat Benatar, I’ll tell you that much. Double Fantasy moved “weird” closer to the center. A band wanting to show an allegiance to the underground is far more likely to cover one of her songs than one by her husband. If they *did* opt for a Lennon-penned number, odds are they’ll go with one written when she was around. Heck, even Ono’s choice in eyewear has proven some longstanding merit if Lady Gaga is to be trusted. Lennon’s influence as a songwriter is undeniable, but Ono’s influential role as a stylist deserves reassessment.
Would John Lennon really have been willing do die to get his wife’s artwork recognized on a larger scale? He probably would have said something along those lines, but that kind of thing never gets put to the test. Except when it does, and that’s when things get weird.
Tommy Salmon
Movement Magazine Athens GA correspondent
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Friday, June 3, 2011
FUCK!
Not as thrilled with the new COLDPLAY as I'd sort of hoped I would be. I will listen to more SUEDE to make up for it. Where are bands of their caliber today? Where is the new SUEDE? Where are the new Smiths? And I don't mean some fucking carbon copy, I mean an equally talented group of musicians making music that will change the world. Someone please fucking shake this shit up. Fuck this GaGa-gay-bar-top-40-vocoded-dime-store-rap shit! It is dumbing down our cattle-like society. Fucking wake up!
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
The Jax Band Rant
There's a reason why there isn't a thriving audience for local music and it goes beyond a handful of terrible, patron-abusing establishments and their counter-productive owners. What's more, it goes beyond the 21st century's promotion of a sedentary, computer-oriented, never-leave-the-house, lifestyle: it's the fucking bands!
I'm going to name names so it's worth acknowledging that some of you will know (perhaps even BE) these people. In my view, they are destructive. They contribute to the public's apathetic view of our city's otherwise talented musicians by perpetuating a mediocre-bordering-on-laughable substitution for music that thinly masks a narcissistic impulse to place themselves in a narrow spotlight, failing that, to condescend to those of us not hip enough to "get it."
Let's begin with an obvious question: Who the FUCK am I?!
My name is Sam. I'm not a cynical, overweight music nerd, blogging from from my parents' basement in between marathon sessions of WoW, cursing the death of vinyl (in fact, good riddance). I too am a musician and all too often observe the negative impact of these bands. If you want to rip apart my musical offerings, be my guest: I currently front The Skraelings, play keys and produce Shocktopus; I've fronted Man-Sized Rat, played drums for Pilar, and contributed to Esther and Lokyata EPs. That's the short list.
Musicians like to pay lip-service to the general public with rumblings about their varied musical influences as that same audience struggles to pick out those influences in their banal catalogue. From electro-clash to death metal, I do it. That's who I am. That's what I do. I'm not above criticism.
When it comes to local bands and their inflated sense of entitlement, it's always inversely proportional to their musical ability. Walk into any men's room at any rock venue on a Friday or Saturday night and wait for Mr. Bar Star to hose the urinal down with voided Budweiser and break the ice with, "yeah, my band is being looked at by several labels..."
What is it about a musician gripping his member in the presence of another man that makes him feel inadequate enough to compensate with a statement about his perceived marketability?
No matter. Just understand that your favorite local band may be "all about the music" in front of their fans but in front of other musicians, their motivations become clear.
I've been playing music here for roughly a decade, bouncing between genres that wouldn't condescend to pay attention to each other and I can safely say that the attitudes are universal beyond the fashion borders. Along the way, I've also met a lot of GREAT musicians. Unfortunately, most of them are adrift in an ocean of banality, stuck at the ass-end of terrible FIVE BAND BILLS that no one has the endurance or curiosity to subject themselves to.
Let's assume you are curious John Q. Public, looking to "support the scene" and check out some of these great local bands you've read about or maybe you'd like to check out a few bands you're connected to through various social networks. How do you decide?
It's 2010 and anyone can sound passable with Pro Tools. Even DIY efforts can be quite polished. So it's not enough to base your local show success on recordings alone. At the opposite end of the spectrum is this ridiculous Lo-fi movement where laziness is intentional and white noise is a by-design excuse. These people spend so much time intellectualizing their work, if they spent half as much energy on their music they wouldn't have to present an argument for why it doesn't suck… or why you don't get it.
Let's focus on 3 locals who will act as examples for their like-minded contemporaries:
First of all, something personal: Kevin Newberry. I don't know what possessed him to pop up on The Skraelings fan page and leave a snarky comment about his distaste for my lyrics but, the minute that he did, he landed square in my cross-hairs.
My first reaction was, "Who is this guy?" and "How awesome is his music?" I know that reads a little facetious but, for a moment, I thought he might be rad and laughing at my silly attempts to compete on his level of excellence. Then I heard his music. Now I'd simply recommend Zoloft and guitar lessons.
Musician etiquette 101: if you don't like someone's music, don't go to THEIR page and express your distaste. You've got your own page or, if you feel the need to vent publicly, do so.
Tell your friends we suck. Don't tell OUR FANS we suck. I don't go to your page and call you out you for your half-ass, hipster, atonal, acoustic, lo-fi noise that you pretend is music while dispassionately counting off a monotone "...2...3..." before you unleash that sleep-inducing, diminished, open mic night drivel that is your ENTIRE repertoire.
Learn how to play your fucking instrument. I know that sounds totally un-hip but I will fuck you in public! Seriously, book a show on the same night and follow our set. Stick to what you know: high cholesterol and facial hair.
Moving on...
AC deathstrike: Is it just me or have these guys been first in line to the indie music media teat with a frequency that suggests favoritism? No matter, seeing as how they don't have the ability to hold the attention of a brain-damaged, 6 year old coma victim who would prefer the simple pleasures of a shiny object to their fucktarded noise, they will NEVER live up to the press hype they've received and therefore, anyone who takes a chance on checking out Jax's thriving indie music scene will no doubt lose all faith in music media coverage locally and continue to flock to St Augustine to see The Flaming Lips for the billionth time.
No real personal grudge. I simply have no tolerance for bands that treat music like an exercise in irony.
Finally, there's Marion Crane.
I had a long rant prepared but just go listen to their music. These guys are status quo nu-metal all the way. A whole lot of ego for something so tired. Marion Crane is a poor man's Mindslip; Mindslip is a watered-down Burn Season; Burn Season was a desperate emulation of … well … everything 1998. I call it "Goatee rock." You are welcome to use that.
The Marion Crane frontman sounds like he's trying to sing and work out a reluctant shit at the same time. If you choose to subject yourself to their music--for pure comedic value--go ahead a read their bio on facebook. Recommended reading for any fan of verbal irony. At least we know someone in the band can read and write at an 8th grade level.
Years ago when I was fronting Man-Sized Rat I waged an ideological war with that superficial group of spray-tanned, no talent, tween-fucking, style over substance, goth ass-clowns, PHILLER. I don't care if your dad owns a fucking car dealership in Orlando and pays for however much studio time it takes to make you sound like you shouldn't be wearing Ed Hardy and putting ground effects on your honda civic, you don't know the first fucking thing about rock n roll.
To borrow a quote from my musical ally and local trouble maker/musician, Ryan Gunwitch Black, "You ain't nobody till somebody hates you." I'm certain there's a small army of haters now but here's the thing: I don't have to like your music. You don't have to like my music. Honestly, I'd rather you prove me wrong and write better music. However, in all the cited examples, I'm certain you won't.
That's a challenge!
-Samuel Farmer
Chance In Hell Productions
I'm going to name names so it's worth acknowledging that some of you will know (perhaps even BE) these people. In my view, they are destructive. They contribute to the public's apathetic view of our city's otherwise talented musicians by perpetuating a mediocre-bordering-on-laughable substitution for music that thinly masks a narcissistic impulse to place themselves in a narrow spotlight, failing that, to condescend to those of us not hip enough to "get it."
Let's begin with an obvious question: Who the FUCK am I?!
My name is Sam. I'm not a cynical, overweight music nerd, blogging from from my parents' basement in between marathon sessions of WoW, cursing the death of vinyl (in fact, good riddance). I too am a musician and all too often observe the negative impact of these bands. If you want to rip apart my musical offerings, be my guest: I currently front The Skraelings, play keys and produce Shocktopus; I've fronted Man-Sized Rat, played drums for Pilar, and contributed to Esther and Lokyata EPs. That's the short list.
Musicians like to pay lip-service to the general public with rumblings about their varied musical influences as that same audience struggles to pick out those influences in their banal catalogue. From electro-clash to death metal, I do it. That's who I am. That's what I do. I'm not above criticism.
When it comes to local bands and their inflated sense of entitlement, it's always inversely proportional to their musical ability. Walk into any men's room at any rock venue on a Friday or Saturday night and wait for Mr. Bar Star to hose the urinal down with voided Budweiser and break the ice with, "yeah, my band is being looked at by several labels..."
What is it about a musician gripping his member in the presence of another man that makes him feel inadequate enough to compensate with a statement about his perceived marketability?
No matter. Just understand that your favorite local band may be "all about the music" in front of their fans but in front of other musicians, their motivations become clear.
I've been playing music here for roughly a decade, bouncing between genres that wouldn't condescend to pay attention to each other and I can safely say that the attitudes are universal beyond the fashion borders. Along the way, I've also met a lot of GREAT musicians. Unfortunately, most of them are adrift in an ocean of banality, stuck at the ass-end of terrible FIVE BAND BILLS that no one has the endurance or curiosity to subject themselves to.
Let's assume you are curious John Q. Public, looking to "support the scene" and check out some of these great local bands you've read about or maybe you'd like to check out a few bands you're connected to through various social networks. How do you decide?
It's 2010 and anyone can sound passable with Pro Tools. Even DIY efforts can be quite polished. So it's not enough to base your local show success on recordings alone. At the opposite end of the spectrum is this ridiculous Lo-fi movement where laziness is intentional and white noise is a by-design excuse. These people spend so much time intellectualizing their work, if they spent half as much energy on their music they wouldn't have to present an argument for why it doesn't suck… or why you don't get it.
Let's focus on 3 locals who will act as examples for their like-minded contemporaries:
First of all, something personal: Kevin Newberry. I don't know what possessed him to pop up on The Skraelings fan page and leave a snarky comment about his distaste for my lyrics but, the minute that he did, he landed square in my cross-hairs.
My first reaction was, "Who is this guy?" and "How awesome is his music?" I know that reads a little facetious but, for a moment, I thought he might be rad and laughing at my silly attempts to compete on his level of excellence. Then I heard his music. Now I'd simply recommend Zoloft and guitar lessons.
Musician etiquette 101: if you don't like someone's music, don't go to THEIR page and express your distaste. You've got your own page or, if you feel the need to vent publicly, do so.
Tell your friends we suck. Don't tell OUR FANS we suck. I don't go to your page and call you out you for your half-ass, hipster, atonal, acoustic, lo-fi noise that you pretend is music while dispassionately counting off a monotone "...2...3..." before you unleash that sleep-inducing, diminished, open mic night drivel that is your ENTIRE repertoire.
Learn how to play your fucking instrument. I know that sounds totally un-hip but I will fuck you in public! Seriously, book a show on the same night and follow our set. Stick to what you know: high cholesterol and facial hair.
Moving on...
AC deathstrike: Is it just me or have these guys been first in line to the indie music media teat with a frequency that suggests favoritism? No matter, seeing as how they don't have the ability to hold the attention of a brain-damaged, 6 year old coma victim who would prefer the simple pleasures of a shiny object to their fucktarded noise, they will NEVER live up to the press hype they've received and therefore, anyone who takes a chance on checking out Jax's thriving indie music scene will no doubt lose all faith in music media coverage locally and continue to flock to St Augustine to see The Flaming Lips for the billionth time.
No real personal grudge. I simply have no tolerance for bands that treat music like an exercise in irony.
Finally, there's Marion Crane.
I had a long rant prepared but just go listen to their music. These guys are status quo nu-metal all the way. A whole lot of ego for something so tired. Marion Crane is a poor man's Mindslip; Mindslip is a watered-down Burn Season; Burn Season was a desperate emulation of … well … everything 1998. I call it "Goatee rock." You are welcome to use that.
The Marion Crane frontman sounds like he's trying to sing and work out a reluctant shit at the same time. If you choose to subject yourself to their music--for pure comedic value--go ahead a read their bio on facebook. Recommended reading for any fan of verbal irony. At least we know someone in the band can read and write at an 8th grade level.
Years ago when I was fronting Man-Sized Rat I waged an ideological war with that superficial group of spray-tanned, no talent, tween-fucking, style over substance, goth ass-clowns, PHILLER. I don't care if your dad owns a fucking car dealership in Orlando and pays for however much studio time it takes to make you sound like you shouldn't be wearing Ed Hardy and putting ground effects on your honda civic, you don't know the first fucking thing about rock n roll.
To borrow a quote from my musical ally and local trouble maker/musician, Ryan Gunwitch Black, "You ain't nobody till somebody hates you." I'm certain there's a small army of haters now but here's the thing: I don't have to like your music. You don't have to like my music. Honestly, I'd rather you prove me wrong and write better music. However, in all the cited examples, I'm certain you won't.
That's a challenge!
-Samuel Farmer
Chance In Hell Productions
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